Instead of veering wildly, my straight stich is finally in line! If you don't share my excitement, stop reading right now; it's not going to get more interesting for you.
Excited by my newly acquired skills, I cobbled together this small, small pillow:
This pig was kind enough to model my creation. He was tired out anyway from running away from a plastic wolf, so it was a win-win situation all around. Note the way I tucked in the edges after stuffing said pillow: