Friday, August 26, 2011

In Which I Smear Coconut Oil on My Son’s A$$

After my son David was born, I joined an online breastfeeding forum. Initially, I appreciated the supportive atmosphere. Many moms offered advice that most health professionals are not aware of because they fall outside the tightly defined boundaries of conventional medicine.  I tried a number of suggested remedies with some success. One recurring thread was the use of coconut oil.
Another random sighting of a fetching headband.
Have you ever heard the expression, “Don’t be a one upper”? Well, that’s how most of the forum regulars operated. If someone extolled the virtues of one organic compound, another mom would immediately intervene, touting a purer, even more “natural” option. 
There are many very natural byproducts that I want nowhere near my person, like bat guano. Poisonous plants and jellyfish are natural, too, but unless a large pharmaceutical synthesizes them first, Mother Nature can keep them. And do not get me started on natural disasters! Recently we have been inundated by a series of them--an earthquake and an imminent hurricane--that I am not ashamed to take a stand here as anti-natural disaster.
Vaseline, Eucerin, and Aquafor are so yesterday! Plus, they allegedly contain “toxic” chemicals. The ultimate one upper is not compost, bird crap, or butter—it’s coconut oil.

Coconut oil is solid at room temperature.  It is sometimes used as a cooking oil because it has a high smoking point. Some people swear by its healing, super nutritive properties as a body and facial moisturizer. It may be true that it is better for you than butter because it is a “good fat,” much like avocado. If you’ve never fried your French toast in coconut oil, you are missing out on a delicious treat! If you have never slathered your baby’s butt in it, you ain’t missing much.
Lest you eat from this jar...

After buying a jar from Whole Foods, I regularly applied it to David’s derriere. Truthfully, it works no better than Eucerin, but it smells yummy. Not sure, though, that I want my son to smell like a macaroon. My initial doubts, however, have been confirmed via rigorous scientific inquiry: You are no better or worse off using a commercially prepared cream. It may in fact be easier, as coconut oil is hard to scoop out with your fingers, and it doesn’t go on smoothly.  Also, unless you regularly wash it off, it goes rancid quickly; who wants to smell like a rotting coconut? That, by the way, is a rhetorical question.
NEXT TIME: Surviving natural disasters through fun sewing projects! If ever FEMA requires cute headbands and adorable earbud pouches to aid the affected, I will be their go-to gal.

1 comment:

  1. Try organic olive oil soap too. That really helped my skin when I was young :)

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