PROFESSIONAL WRITER ISO CUSHY FACEBOOK GIG
Just wanted to put out there in the cyber-ether that I am available to be your professional proxy Facebook poster (PPFP). After being on FB for almost three years, I feel comfortable asserting that I know my FB “friends” (all 75 of them!) well enough to get inside their heads. After conveniently categorizing friends into tidy groups (bitter politicos; devoted moms; outdoor/sporting enthusiasts; drinkers; musicians; neutral members who use their FB page for professional and related posts; the single-issue friend; the friend that has a knack for sharing pithy posters of old-fashioned sketches making very modern, sometimes slightly naughty pronouncements about issues of the day).
Don’t be put off by the fact that I have “only” 75 friends. Why, you object, someone with 500+ friends would be more qualified, more “linked in,” than a user of my seemingly lesser status. My response to this critique is twofold: First, if I had 634 friends I would never be able to get to know them as individuals. Secondly, do you know how many friend requests I have “ignored”? Nothing personal, though; I simply did not feel comfortable indulging their morbid curiosities about me, which would have been satisfied after viewing my toothy pictures anyway.
You may have thought that such a luxurious service was only available to organizations like the American Cancer Society, the ACLU, or President Obama’s re-election campaign. Why shouldn’t you have the same chance to experience the high of sharing personal minutiae as well as life’s milestones without going through the trouble of writing well? Not only will I lovingly craft your status about getting food poisoning at Denny’s, I promise to proof said status for grammatical errors and sense.
This is all a big, fat prelude to the unveiling of my new blog! In case you doubt my writing abilities, check it out. It doubles as a personal writing portfolio, which is why I have dubbed it “Aisha’s Writing Portfolio.” Catchy, no? Check out my syntheses and summaries of the best medical-related articles available online. Recent topics include what happened to the drug Vioxx and exactly why it might be bad for you; ticks; how cells recycle their garbage; food deserts; and pieces linking exercise to all sorts of good stuff. Who knows? Some of you may have outgrown the potty humor of Hell’s Domestic Backside. Maybe mommy blogs, however demented, simply don’t appeal to you anymore. If so, checking in from time to time with “Aisha’s Writing Portfolio” may be your best option.