Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Limping Our Way Across a Zombie-Filled Landscape

“Thank You”: Or, Most Depressing Ep Ever?

Glenn is running through the woods with Rick as that annoying horn blares in the distance. Daryl is still leading the zombie hordes in a slow ride, but a few zombies broke off to heed the siren call (the horn). Dissension among the ranks! Michonne tries to calm a potential defector who blames Rick for everything. It’s a thankless job to be the boss.

Rick has a new plan. He does love strategy. He’s ready to strike out on his own. Rick reminds Michonne that not everyone in the group will make it. One man, perhaps it was the complainey guy, is killed by a zombie. He was apart from the group. Like sharks, zombies prefer to attack lone individuals. It’s harder to do the same with a cohesive bunch. But do any of the Alexandrian newbies listen to Rick? No, and that is why they will continue to end up as zombie snacks.

Michonne stabs the dying man in the head. Then, the horn stops! Little do Rick and Co. know that a bloodbath is taking place back home while they are attempting to devise and implement plans to divert the undead.

Glenn tries to pacify the group, which in fact is made up of nebbishes rather than badasses. Woody Allen would feel right at home in this cohort. Some of them are carrying guns, whereas Michonne and Glenn prefer knives. They meet up with a lot of zombies. One man is bitten. Uh oh. However, though infected, he can still walk. The show must go on! What a trooper.

Sascha and Ginger cruise along in their automobile. Daryl zooms ahead of them. One woman limps along on a sprained ankle. Sprained ankles are de rigeur injuries when running away from zombies or serial killers. The bitten man presses on. Michonne chats with him about the past. He’s a newlywed. Michonne seems sympathetic but still keeps her keen eyes on the road ahead. He knows he is going to die.

Nicholas the former traitor is still being good: he hasn’t finked out once or betrayed anyone yet. Glenn affirms to Michonne that he doesn’t share the Ranger’s callousness regarding the others in the group if they can’t keep up. Rick sees a sprained ankle, his attitude is, leave the deadweight behind and save the healthy ones that can run. Glenn, as we know, is a softie. He’s no pacifist like Morgan, but he’s more of an idealist than Rick. They are halfway home. Nicholas finds the hat of a guy who broke off from the group earlier. Aaaaaand they find Sturges, who is now zombie lunchmeat.

Michonne’s group ducks into a darkened store to evade the walkers, who are blocking their way home. It’s hard managing Millennials! Glenn wants the group to separate. Nicholas is helpful. Herschel’s pocket watch makes a brief appearance.

Girl with a sprain offers to be left behind. “We don’t leave people behind,” declares serious black guy with glasses and funky hair. Michonne seconds that. She confronts glasses. He doesn’t like Rick’s attitude. Glasses just doesn’t want a strong woman in charge! She points out he’s had it relatively easy, whereas she and Rick have been through a Vitamix of various horrors.

Glenn and Nicholas find a zombie. He used to be in Nicholas’ crew, and Nick abandoned him (naturally). Glenn reminds him that he’s a changed man. Nicholas does the right thing and stabs his former compatriot in the head, which in many cases is indeed the most humane option.

Rick is running really fast. He reaches a small RV and zooms away. Meanwhile, Michonne and Co. are still in the store. Bit guy and Michonne exchange notes. Something is rattling the back door. Looks like the dead owners, or customers. More zombies hear the noises and descend upon the store. The gang is trapped.

They make it out of the store but are trailed by zombies. Sprained girl is toast. She trips and shoots valiantly, but there are just too many of the darn things. Glenn and Nicholas are boxed in by zombies. Glenn cannot die! He has not impregnated Maggie yet.

Michonne and Co. also are in trouble. One by one, they scale a tall gate to get the heck out of there. Glenn and Nicholas desperately search for a way out. This seems to be the end for them. Glenn shoots at the wall of zombies again and again, and Nicholas stabs a few in the head.

Bit guy falls into the pit of zombies. Unfortunately, he dies slowly. They grab at Michonne’s legs, but she makes it over. They watch in horror as bit guy is eaten, but there’s nothing left to do.

Glenn and Nicolas are on top of a dumpster. Nicholas seems to experience a bit of a brain fart. He stares blankly down into the mosh pit of zombies as they wave their hands to and fro, their dirty chompers snapping. Glenn tries to snap him out of the shock. Nicholas shoots himself in the head and takes down Glenn with him, into the mosh pit. I don’t think this was purposeful, but Glenn reached out to stop Nicholas from falling. You know why? Because Glenn is a good person. Glenn dies. This is horrible. Glenn was a sweet, sweet man whom we have loved since season one. Maggie has now lost the last, loved person in her life. I’m feeling quite nauseated right now.

Of course, Michonne is not aware of their fate. She trudges through the forest as tall bald black guy leans on her and Glasses guy for support. Tall bald is injured from before.

Rick radios Glenn. No answer. He does get Daryl, and we see that Sascha and Ginger are still buzzing along at my favorite safe driving speed, about 10 mph.

Rick is suddenly ambushed in the RV. Attacked by wolves? His radio goes dead. He manages to kill both assailants. In one of the man’s pockets he finds a jar of…baby food. In the side window of the vehicle he sees more invaders, whom he peppers with automatic gunfire through the side of the RV.

Daryl and Ginger’s car meet up again, followed by a bazillion zombies. Rick tries to start the RV, but to no avail. Zombies begin to stumble out of the forest, bumbling towards the RV. Why the hell was this episode entitled “Thank You”??

I just watched the terrible Nicholas suicide scene again, and right before he pulls the trigger he tells Glenn, “thank you.” Glenn gave him a second chance. When everyone else dismissed Nicholas as an eternal douche, Glenn put his fingers in his ears and refused to listen.

But look what doing the right thing got him; a violent end. Who said a few episodes back, “Do the right thing, and see where it gets you” (something to that effect). That was Ruben Blades, the Mad Barber (Fear the Walking Dead) who was trying to shake some sense into no-balls, all-heart Travis. Maybe Ruben was right. If you want to live in the crappy post-apocalyptic world, you look out for your immediate family (if you are lucky enough to have anyone left) or yourself (see: Carol). No room for Morgans or Glenns.

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