Monday, December 7, 2015

99 Luft Green Balons

“Heads Up”: Or, Glenn’s Will to Survive is Nearly as Strong as Enid’s Appetite!

Everything you need to know about this ep can be summed up in two words: GLENN LIVES. Yes, my original prediction about our favorite former pizza delivery guy is true. After Nicholas shot himself in the head and inadvertently dragged down poor Glenn into the pit of writhing zombies, he fell on top of said Glenn. The undead ripped Nicholas’ flesh whilst Glenn was safely tucked underneath. Glenn then scooted backwards under the dumpster to escape the melee. WOW. Cheap plot twist, or best news evah? You decide.

Glenn finds Escaped Enid, who frankly is a little CuNextTuesdaY, if you get my drift. I’m sorry, but she simply is. Glenn tries to track her down to get any good news about his wife Maggie back in Alexandria, but before you can yell out “disgruntled teenager,” Enid disappears.

Back at Alexandria, Morgan has a secret. Remember, he’s hiding a Wolf? Rick finds the blood seeping through the steel wall. Huh, that’s weird. Maggie is on the lookout for Glenn. Rick speaks to her huskily. Blah, blah, blah. I’m a bit weary of Rick and his wiggly eyebrows.

A bloodied but unharmed Glenn finds that dude (now a zombie) from Alexandria who died near Michonne on the gate trying to escape. He finds the note the man wrote to his sweetie, which makes Glenn think of MAGGIE. Selfish Glenn, must it always be about YOU?

Rick gives an impromptu gun lesson to Pasty-Faced Ron and Karl. If that is not utterly fucked up, I don’t know what it. Karl apparently is offering instruction as well. Ron is an eager pupil. Rick gives him an empty gun to carry around. Perhaps Rick is not as foolhardy as once thought. Pasty Ron wants a loaded weapon for “target practice.”

The Lesbian Dr greets Morgan. She’s also a psychiatrist, so maybe Morgan will confide in her. However, it is Rick who wants to chat with Morgan. Rick and Carol confront Morgan about his not killing the Wolves. Michonne is there too, glaring. Morgan expresses confusion. People can change, he maintains, all life is precious, etc. Michonne counters that it’s not that simple. Rick reminds Morgan that at this point dirty deeds must be done to survive. Moral dilemma! Or, is it? Carol would take out Morgan in a heartbeat if she thought he was impeding the survival of the group. Michonne probably feels the same way. Rick, on the other hand, has a past with Morgan, who saved the ranger early on when Rick busted out of the hospital. That’s season one, folks.

A massive zombie horde has gathered along the walls of Alexandria. Michonne and Rick discuss. The dessicated Mayor zips over and presents her future plans to them that she has sketched out on paper. Erm, we’re sort of occupied with bigger problems right now, Mayor. My expansion can wait after you’ve sorted out the little zombie problem, she agrees happily.

Commando Rosita is teaching civilians to stab heads. Easily distracted Eugene gets a machete too, but he is not happy about it. Rosita lectures him on group safety. Hairdresser Mom and the rest of the class listen in.

Enid is out and about, hanging in a café. Glenn finds her and says he’s going to take her home. Maggie, after all, would want him to take this grouchy teenager home with him. Enid is having none of it: she pulls a gun on Glenn. First Nicholas offing himself, then this? Can Glenn please catch a break? When will Enid stop behaving like a petulant adolescent? Also, who names their child Enid? It’s almost as bad as Hortense, for God’s sake.

Through clenched teeth, Glenn commands her to stop. He takes the gun away. She calls him an asshole. Nice. Time to go home, Enid!

Rick is doing some sawing, some planking, and other manly activities. An Alexandrian helps him shore up the walls with wooden planks. He confesses how scary Rick’s scruffy, unkempt beard seemed at first. “Don’t give up on us,” he says.

Enid is surprisingly handy with a sharp knife. She stabs a walker in the head as she and Glenn walk along a very pretty stretch of road. They find helium-filled balloons (?). Enid suggests they could use them to distract the walkers away from Alexandria. Glenn asks Enid about her life at Alexandria. She lived alone (recall that she’s an orphan). Do I detect the beginnings of a friendship here? Nope, Enid snaps at Glenn after he tries to get her to open up.

Pasty Ron is determined to fill his gun with bullets. He sneaks into the armory. Cue ominous music! Zoom in on Ron’s sweaty little hand filled with bullets! Egad.

Enid and Glenn have returned, and they come bearing balloons. There is also unfortunately a heck of a lot of walkers, and Enid is discouraged. What’s the point, she asks. Glenn affirms that it’s not fruitless. He convinces her to continue the good fight.

Spencer, the Mayor’s son and only surviving family member, is doing something very, very stupid. A couple episodes ago, he was munching on stolen water crackers. Now, he inches himself along a wire secured with a grappling hook to a wall across the walker hordes. Rick snarls at Spence to get down from there right now, dagnabbit, and put a halt to this tomfoolery at once! Tara and Eugene look upon the scene flabbergasted.

The hook slips and he falls dangerously close to the walkers. Then, he falls in. Tara tries to save him by shooting walkers whilst Rick and another man try to pull him up over the wall. Everyone, it seems, is trying to save this crazy 30-something. Rick is mad at Tara for risking his ass, and he’s positively livid at Spencer, who had some cockamamie plan that clearly wasn’t going to work.

Morgan returns to the psych—the Doctor is IN. She’s written down directions to herself on a chalkboard to remind herself how to actually practice medicine. Morgan is in search of antibiotics to treat a cut. A Wolf’s cut, mayhaps? Ugh, I’m really beginning to despise his misguided charity.

Carol holding baby Judith spies the Doctor departing from her house on foot and follows her for a bit. Nothing fucking gets past that woman; she’s like a terrier after..something it totally wants. She stops by the Hairdresser’s house to drop Judith off for babysitting so she can make more time for badassery. She then confronts Morgan about who he’s keeping in the cell. The jig is up when Carol gets your number. Morgan’s Wolf-harboring days are over.

Ron stalks Karl with a K. Rick is busily fortifying the walls. The Mayor thanks Rick and Tara for saving her useless son Spencer. Alexandria sees a bunch of green balloons floating across the sky. Maggie has a feeling that it’s Glenn, but architecture has other plans: A tower that lies just outside the wall crashes into the complex walls. Alexandria is about to contend with a lot of smelly, stumbling visitors.

Next episode: The Mid-Season Finale! Will Glenn return with the annoying Enid to reunite with a pregnant Maggie? Will Ron shoot zombies to defend Alexandria or succumb to the temptation of shooting Karl with a K? Will the invading walkers be invited to Alexandria’s annual potluck picnic? The answers to all these questions and more await.

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