Sunday, March 20, 2016

Two Gingers Too Many

“The Same Boat”: Episode the 12th

Carol and Maggie have been kidnapped. It’s safe to say that this is Maggie’s fault, because if she had any sense she would have remained in Alexandria. Being newly pregnant means it’s time to get comfy on the couch, put your dang feet up, and make yourself an endless plate of nachos laden with melted Velveeta and sprinkled with spicy jalapeno slices. At least, that’s what I did, in between bouts of nausea.

Instead, Maggie tried to resume her usual schedule of killing people and running serpentine in the forest. Carol called her out at the wrong place and at the wrong time, and now both of them are being held hostage by…a female Neeganite. Plus, some scratchy-voiced senior citizens along for the ride.

After the red-headed (God help us, another Ginger!) ringleader and her cohorts have Carol and Maggie in their clutches, they spy Rick tackling the Survivor that tried to escape via motorcycle. “We’ve got a Carol and a Maggie, and I’m thinking that’s something you want to chat about.” Rick wants to trade baldy (Primo) for the two women. The older man wants Primo back, but Red is not so sure. She’s gonna have to get back to you later, mmkay? Perhaps a sternly worded email is in order? A testy Instant Message?

Oh no she didn't! Meet the second Ginge, Carol's foil.

Carol and Maggie are wearing black hoods. Red binds their wrists with duct tape and they are gagged as well. They drive to a “safe house” of sorts, where Red continues to threaten them with an “I’m in charge now” attitude. Unlike Carol’s very real, very frightening quietly effective domination tactics, her words feel hollow. Red runs off to deal with distant noises. Carol seems to be having a panic attack, but knowing her this is probably a ruse. Just a minute ago she was rooting around in one of the many pockets in her cargo pants for something sharp, no doubt. Maggie notes that she’s hyperventilating.

The gag is removed. Awww, Carol was trying to retreive her rosary. She’s portraying herself as a spiritual woman. Carol the mouse. Carol reveals to Red that Maggie is pregnant, which is either really stupid or Carol has a clever plan. Red is not a fan of babies, whom she describes as “bite-sized snacks for the dead.”

Coughy-coughmeister lights up a cigarette. Judging by her voice, this is an action with which she is highly familiar. She and the younger woman are left alone in the room with Maggie and Carol. Old lady coughs up blood. Carol secretly enjoys the secondhand smoke. The gray-haired older man with the injured arm (kourtesy of Karol) is doing badly; he thinks Primo could fix it. Maggie urges Red to hurry up and negotiate already.

Injured Guy is not too happy about Carol’s relatively healthy state. He backhands Red. Maggie trips him. He confronts her but she head butts him. Red regains her composure and hits Injured Guy. Maggie undergoes interrogation: Where is your home base? Carol, meanwhile, thanks Red for helping Maggie. Her “poor wittle me” campaign seems to be working, as Red dismisses her as “pathetic.” Carol kontinues to play with her rosary beads.

Maggie and Single White Female Captor opens up to Maggie about her past. Maggie pretends to sympathize, but Single isn’t buying it. She just wants the name and location of the idyllic place that Maggie calls home. Rick contacts Red via the walkie talkie. She balks at the trade. Coughy-coughmeister reminds Carol that “your people killed mah people,” “mah people” being Neegan’s merry band of scumbags. Carol retorts that the Survivors were attacking Rick and Co.

Carol bums a cigarette from Coughy. Aaah, the pause that refreshes! Carol puffs and thinks, and puffs and thinks. Red recounts her past life as a subservient secretary (ahem, I mean executive assistant) whilst Carol silently ponders her present life as a psychopath. Red killed her boss because he was weak. “I’m me, but better,” she affirms. Carol tells Red that she will die unless she works this out. Is that a threat, or a promise? Ugh, this episode is slow AND enigmatic!

Red reaches out to Rick (a.k.a. “Asshole,” his lesser known moniker). She instructs him to meet her at a field to make the exchange. Karol kries a little. Coughy and Red leave her. Carol finishes freeing herself and is on the move. She comes across Coughy (Molly), but Coughy doesn’t see her. Reunited with Maggie, Carol frees her and they embrace.

For some reason, they return to Injured Guy, who’s lying face up on the floor looking a little green around the gills. He’s dead, and Maggie notes that he’s turning. An “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” moment occurs between the two female bad asses, who proceed to tie Injured Man (soon to be walker) to a pipe so that he may surprise Coughy when she opens the door. Yum, a smoky snack!

Maggie surprises Coughy. She stabs her in the head repeatedly. Red returns to Kaptive Karol’s room to find…no one. I see Red, and she look mad. Look out!

Carol and Maggie find a blockade of immobilized walkers intended to keep them from escaping. Red turns up. Do you know what I’ve done, blah de blah blah. Carol has the chance to shoot Red, but she balks. Maggie is dumbfounded. Single Female captor bumps into Maggie, slashing her belly. Maggie bleeds. Karol rounds the korner with a gun—Blam! Goodbye, Single White Female! We knew ye long enough.

Red is on the floor. She stands up. Carol can shoot her, again. She waits too long, of course, and mano-a-mano combat ensues. Red ends up as a tasty, ginger-infused treat for a hungry walker. Carol lures a few of Neegan’s men into a room known as the “Kill Floor,” where they are burned to death with a flick of her lit cigarette and copious amounts of gasoline.

Maggie and Glenn are reunited. Daryl hugs Carol. Maggie gives up. Primo is alone. And bald, very bald. Primo IDs himself as Neegan. Rick promptly shoots him in the temple. Kontemplative Karol remembers Red’s scary warning that “We are all Neegan.” In short, there are probably more Survivors Rick and Co. will have to contend with. Also, what the heck is the difference between Paula (Red) and Carol? Carol bakes better cookies.

After a few sluggish episodes, life is finally heating up for our intrepid antiheroes. The next episode features the other Ginger; zombies trapped in cars; and Fr. Gabriel strolling across a bridge whilst carrying his signature semiautomatic.

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