Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Bieber's Got a Gun, the Whole World's Come Undone

Episode 4, Season 2: “Blood in the Streets

As you may recall, when we last left Strand’s yacht, Travis was up to his elbows in poopie; Nick shmeared himself in walker blood; and Mad Mom watched helplessly as Strand coldly severed the rope pulling the small dinghy carrying two survivors. Now, a naked Nick washes up on a beach at night. He makes his way through a sea of tents that are whipping violently in the wind. A military helicopter or plane briefly hovers overhead. Nick bangs around on a plastic jug to coax the walkers out. One dressed in a plaid button down shirt (perfect for camping!) follows him to the opening of a tent, where Nick stabs him. It’s unclear what his game plan is. Then, Nick disembowels the zombie, which kinda makes him gag a little. Once again shmeared for take-off, Nick emerges from the tent, ready for action.

Travis paces in his cozy cabin, fretting about Strand’s cutting off the dinghy. Mad Mom is just thinking about herself. She needs to “start over,” perhaps reinvent herself. Chris and Ofelia hang out on the deck. Chris wants to chat about their romantic pasts. Ofelia for one had a really interesting, psychopathic boyfriend in the military who shot her, but she doesn’t mention him.

Another dinghy carrying three people help themselves aboard Strand’s yacht. What the heck, man?! Strand grabs a large gun. Daniel trains a gun on the man, while Mad Mom helps the woman, who is apparently in premature labor. It’s “Jack,” from Alicia’s foray into ham radio! Jack overcomes Daniel and Travis, while injured woman ties up Mad Mom. Right before they came on board, Chris asked, “Should I shoot them?” Next time, I have a feeling he won’t bother asking. Jack and another male companion catch sight of the dinghy floating nearby. Someone remains in it, so Jack shoots it. Strand totally wants to scream, “I told you so, bitches!” but he is too mad.

Alicia discovers that she's not at Berkeley anymore.
Strand is in a bar. Jazz plays in the background. He’s talking to a fancy-pants man with an accent. TV news coverage of Hurricane Katrina drones in the background. Strand mentions that he’s out of money and needs to start over again. Jump to later: Strand helps support drunk fancy-pants man back to a hotel room. He starts to undress him. Drunk man falls back on the bed, whilst Strand sifts through his wallet. So, Strand is a thief? Credit cards don’t get you much. The backstory thickens!

Jack, whom I’ll refer to as Evil Justin Bieber (EJB), is lording over the crew. He wants the key to the boat. It is unclear as to where Strand is. Bieber is getting angrier, and he pushes the barrel of his gun against Chris’ head. It was Strand in the shot dinghy! Daniel thinks that he abandoned ship. Since it’s all her fault, Alicia goes with Bieber to the deck to “help.” Bieber says he has to talk to “Connor,” which sounds like his boss. He needs to radio him.

Anyhoo, Bloody Nick has reached a set of imposing gates and slips through them. He must be on a mission devised by Strand. He stumbles through a sweet gated community by the ocean, an address in hand.

Strand is in flashback land, wearing a white terry robe in a swanky hotel room. Formerly drunk fancy-pants man shows up with a henchman. He introduces himself as Thomas Abigail (the name of Strand’s yacht). He’s racked up $36,000 on Abigail’s credit cards. Thomas wants to be paid back, but his henchman is puzzled. They leave…Back in the present day, Strand struggles in the water as he clings to the dinghy. His walkie-talkie falls to the bottom of the ocean.

Travis attempts to wire the yacht, because Strand has the key. Bieber watches him work, glaring. Trav says it’s all computerized, so he’ll have to go down to the engine room to tinker with it. As Bieber leads him there helpfully with the snub of his gun, the tied-up gang plots an escape. Mad Mom tries to engage the pregnant terrorist in a friendly convo: When are you due? Boy, labor hurts a lot. Meanwhile, Daniel wriggles around with his wrist ties.

In the engine room, Travis the mechanic pretends to tool around as Bieber stands over him with the gun. Alicia and guy who isn’t Bieber talk. The guy claims that Connor saved his life, and now he owes him. Not sure if this is Jack, or if Jack is Bieber. Alicia warms up to him, or at least she pretends to. She asks if she could join Connor’s group, as long as her family stays safe. Guy cuts her wrist ties. She embraces him. Smart.

Bloody Nick plays basketball in the abandoned housing complex. It seems unfinished. Abigail’s henchman appears and trains a gun on Nick. Nick cries out that Strand sent him. Henchman has a car. A nice one, with leather interiors. He orders Nick to shower before they leave the housing complex that Abigail built.

Back on the yacht, Daniel and Mad Mom plot quietly as pregnant terrorist nurses a drink. Mad Mom tries the soft approach again. They rile her up with talk of a zombie fetus, which gets her goat. She strikes Mad Mom across the face. As he returns to the engine room, Travis slips what could be a sharp tool behind a sofa cushion.

Mustachioed henchman and Nick head toward the edge of the ocean. Mustache unveils a large black dinghy. Flashback to Strand and Abigail sunning themselves by a pool. Strand wants to talk business, whereas Abigail just wants to enjoy his brandy and soak it all in. They’re talking a land buy for development. Abigail extends a hand to Strand, who takes it; is Strand gay?

Bieber is growing impatient in the engine room. Travis fiddles with the wires—blue, red, whatever. Just mess ‘em up, Travis. Connor shows up. Felicia and Travis are leaving with them, and the others are staying behind on the boat. Now a 60s blonde chick and scraggly guy are keeping watch over the gang, both armed, of course. Looks like Nick and Mustache are headed towards the yacht in their sturdy black dinghy. Mustache instructs Nick to control the boat while he takes down 60s and scraggles with a high-powered scope rifle.

In the ensuing kerfuffle, Chris—or is it Mad Mom?—stabs Bieber with that sharp object Travis had stashed. Nick and Mustache board the yacht. Strand is the missing key, Mustache points out: without him, nobody is getting into Mexico. Flashback time! Strand and Abigail are in yet another hotel room. Strand is packing to go to L.A. Abigail warns him about the rioting. They kiss. Smooooch! I think this means that Strand is gay. Strand promises to return in two days, and well, we know how that goes.

Back on the sea, Mad Mom finds Strand, hypothermic and shaking, floating in the waves. She pulls him into the black dinghy. I am NOT feeling the funny with this episode. Let's close this one out with a Cartman meme, an oldie but goodie.

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