My favorite optimists.

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Getting to Know Mother Russia, Then and Now

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I majored in Russian Language and Literature at the University of Pennsylvania back when Perestroika had paved the way for an economic rebirth and a feeling of friendship. After Mr. Gorbachev had “torn down” tangibly oppressive walls, he also opened the floodgates for idealistic young Americans to master Russian language and culture. I'm not sure how I intended to actually APPLY my degree. At one point, I fantasized about the romantic life of a career diplomat. Working for a profitable American company that needed Russian-speaking employees to forge further economic ties also seemed possible. As it turns out, my degree was good for two things. Our childhood conception of Russians. First, I fell in love with Russian literature. Russian poetry is a bit too hand-wringingly dramatic (too much beating of the breast) for my tastes, but Dostoevsky and Tolstoy so perfectly capture the nuances of not just the Russian spirit but the universality of the human condition. The secon...
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Beth Takes Her First Drink and We All Yawn

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“Still” Beth and Daryl do a lot of running away from walkers, A LOT. This is quite the tenses, as the  infamous fake O.J. observer said way back in 1994 to a thoroughly befuddled Peter Jennings. The duo decides to hide out in the trunk of a defunct car as walkers swarm the area. After scavenging the car for useful stuff, they leave. Huh. Not much to say about that except maybe, “I see Beth, and she look scared!” in the words of the aforementioned OJ observer impersonator. I do hope that most of my readers were either old enough to vote, drink, or engage in carnal relations when O.J. Simpson murdered his ex-wife and her friend Ron Goldman back in 1994. Otherwise, this brilliant reference will be sadly lost upon you unless you Google it! Back to Beth and Daryl in the forest. One day, Daryl realizes, he’s going to lose all of his crossbow arrows. One of them has snapped in two. Shouldn’t he have a bigger beard by now? If my calculations are correct, he should resemble ...
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Pharmaceutica: HEROES GIVE HAPPY ENDINGS

OLDER MAN AT PHARMACY COUNTER: $1,286?!! For Viagra? TECH AT CASHIER: [shrugging] I’m sorry, sir, but your insurance just won’t cover it.  OLDER MAN: What does a guy have to do around here to get a boner?  [scene freezes and pharmacy goes dark except for a spotlight on SPOKESMAN] SPOKESMAN [wearing a dark suit, white button down shirt, and tie, steps out of darkness] Has this ever happened to you ? [points to camera, breaking the fourth wall] TECH: Step right down here, sir! [TECH sprints breathlessly from the front register to consult window] OLDER MAN: [desperately but hopefully following TECH] Isn’t there anything you can do? SPOKESMAN [standing behind TECH]: There sure is. A couple strokes on the keyboard [winks at camera with a half smile] is all it takes. OLDER MAN: Sounds good to me. What’s not to like? SPOKESMAN: Edit, scan, apply coupon– TECH: [tapping furiously away at keyboard] SPOKESMAN: Now enter enter enter, and voila! TECH: That’ll be $23.47. OLDER MAN: [astoni...
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