Sandy Walkers Rock Out at Coachella, Get Crabs

Episode 3, Season 2: “Ouroboros”

“Ouroboros” refers to an ancient symbol of a serpent eating its own tail. I looked it up on the Internets, so it must be true. My husband claims that at one point he knew what the word actually meant, which I find difficult to believe. Also, I thought that my TV screen read “Quroboros” because I’m old and need glasses.

People swimming in the ocean. Apparently, they are survivors of a plane crash. One of them has been bitten, so he’s the one to get whacked out of the life raft. Another person is clinging to life. If he dies, he’ll turn and kill them. A pretty Asian young woman is protecting the badly injured boy. Another man on the life raft who I'll call Will Farrell tells her to end it for the boy now. Will this group cross oceanic paths with Strand?

Strand is on his walkie-talkie. He’s on his way, he promises. Travis lies awake next to Mad Mom. He hasn’t had any sustained cardio since they left L.A., and Strand has no gluten-free pasta on board. Waaaah! Travis starts kissing Mad Mom, and some sexy times begin, but an ominous, mechanical groan interrupts their carnal pursuits.

Travis, Mad Mom, Strand, and Daniel huddle to solve the issue. Something to do with the engine and needing to go under the boat. It’s still dark, however, so Travis will have to fix whatever the problem is a bit blind. He scubas under there and bumps into dead Will Farrell zombie, who is highly recognizable because he is still wearing his nerdy, striped long sleeved polo. Ewwww, swim away, Travis, swim away!

Travis is safely back on board. He may be fixing the sewage system, because he and Strand are literally gagging. Can’t everyone just poo and pee right over the edge of the boat? Wherefore all the forced formality? Travis complains that he just doesn’t get the appreciation he deserves, going all Norma Rae on Strand. Captain is having none of it: “Just fix the damn boat.”

Daniel and Ofelia tend to her festering shoulder wound. Recall that her national guard boyfriend shot her in season one. Felicia spies washed-up suitcases on the not so far away shore. She would like to forage for badly needed supplies. Nick is eager as well, because travelers carry the good shit, as in “drugs.” Daniel bluntly informs Mad Mom that they are going to MEXICO! Aye caramba. She’s worried about traveler’s diarrhea, whereas Daniel seems pleased about the warmer clime.

Daniel leads the group that went ashore to scavenge. They quickly check out the partial remains of a downed plane as he admonishes them to get the goods and get ready to get out. Meanwhile, Travis is scuba diving under the boat again. Suitcases are strewn about the coastline. Chris wanders off beyond Daniel’s view, which he specifically warned against. Back to Travis, bubbling under the boat. A lot of blood churns to the surface, followed thereafter by Will Farrell. But it’s cool, because Trav is okay!

Nick and Felicia are awfully sanguine as they pick apart dead people’s possessions. He dons what looks like the pilot’s shirt, complete with epaulets and gold thread. Those wacky kids!

Chris and his death wish have found another large piece of wreckage, which he enters readily. Guess what? It’s very eerie in there. A few walkers are still strapped into their seats. One is even wearing his oxygen mask, the little one that falls from the ceiling when the cabin pressure drops too much. One passenger, however, is not dead. He is human, and he pleads with Chris for help.

Mad Mom confronts Strand. She asks him if they are going to MEXICO. Actually, he’s going to Baja, where an oasis awaits: Clean water, food, really tasty fish tacos.

Back to the suitcases. Daniel sifts through the abandoned belongings with considerably more sensitivity than Nick and Felicia. Nick gives Daniel a quick course in basic pharma right before Daniel notices that Chris is out of view. Chris is trying to help bearded injured man, whose spine is sticking out of his back. “Help me,” he whispers hoarsely. Does he want Chris to end his suffering? Yep. Not quite the same when your subject is human. After several whacks, the deed is done. Daniel searches for Chris fruitlessly as the winds whip across the dunes. Nick hits the mother lode in one suitcase; I don’t think he stumbled across a supply of broad-spectrum antibiotics.

Nick advocates "Small Pharma" to Daniel.

Daniel sees a figure running toward him. It’s the young Asian woman yelling, “They’re coming! Run!” She keeps running, but Daniel gets his gun out. That’s an awful lot of walkers, though. Nick hears that unmistakable rasping sound. It’s a walker stuck in the sand up to his waist at the bottom of a sandy crevasse, being munched on by hungry crabs. How does it feel, buddy? Not so good when the shoe is on the other foot, eh? Naturally, Nick loses his footing and falls in said crevasse. Luckily, he pulls something sharp out of his pocket just in time to stab Ironic Walker in the head. Unfortunately, another walker approaches the edge of the hole and also loses his footing, falling on top of Nick.

Felicia finds Chris. Before they have a chance to speak further, they hear distant gunshots. Mad Mom hears the commotion and alerts Strand. On shore, the gang is being assailed by a horde of walkers who appear to have all turned during Coachella. Yes, they were all dressed by Anthropologie and Urban Outfitters. Young, fit zombies, with toned limbs! And really nice hair.

When bad three-day music festivals get worse.

Travis’ strategy of handling everyone’s shit has paid off, but his peeps are struggling to stay alive on the beach. Whack, whack, whack. Snap snap. Going to extended outdoor music festivals whilst smoking a ton of pot makes you hangry. Nick is covered in zombie blood. He goes native, growling and getting up in the grill of a walker. Young Asian woman helps them pull the rowboat out to sea. Strand is totally bummed that “there’s more.”

He draws the line at picking up more people. Mad Mom spills the beans about Baja. The gang doubts, but Travis backs her up. The boy in the boat is dying. Travis suggests that the yacht tow the survivors rather than letting them aboard the boat. Strand seems to agree. The gang supplies the dinghy with food and water. This strategy doesn’t suit Felicia, cause at Berkeley every one is really nice to each other and stuff, mmmkay?

Nick, still bloodied but with a clean face, presents Ofelia with a pilfered rosary on deck. The two survivors in the dinghy press on. The young woman comforts her partner: “This is the worst it’s gonna be…every day will be a little better.” Strand swiftly rushes down from his perch to sever the thick rope tethering the dinghy to the yacht. Scratch that; from here on it's total shite. Mad Mom cries out, but it’s done. I can’t figure out the significance of the episode’s title. Too tired.