Aye Chihuahua (Wait, Is That Racist?)

Episode 9, Season 2: “Los Muertos”

What should we call this latest episode? How about “The Dead”? Too fucking obvious? Right…How about “Los Muertos”? That’s Spanish, for the same thing folks. Again, AMC, please try a little harder when you are struggling to come up with episode titles. Take a lesson from The Walking Dead and make them so obscure that we have to Google them to glean a minimal understanding.

Nick, again. He’s in the “hospital,” a.k.a. the back of a taqueria, next to a lady coughing up blood. After he leaves, the town isn’t looking quite as nice as it did before. Its crappier aspects have come into view. He meets a little girl looking tearfully into the distance. In this town, they feed the dead with human sacrifices, just like the good old days! We’re talking Aztecs and Mayans. Aren’t there any errant Chihuahuas available, God Dammit! The living even have a nifty religious sounding chant to repeat while some poor sod gets ripped apart by useless dead people. That sod is the little girl’s daddy.

"Yo quiero...to leeve another day."

Finally, we return to Madison (a.k.a. Mad Mom), black Strand, and Alycia (or is it Felicia?). But so fleeting! Nick, again. The pharmacist who helped him earlier is tending to the old and sick. Lady Gang Leader hovers nearby. Strand et al. discover that The Abigail is gone, taken by the military. Mad Mom suggests waiting around for Nick, who always finds his way home like a stray dog. Alycia’s not so romantic about his prospects. The gang minus Nick and Travis pile up in a decent pickup truck to check in to a luxury high-rise hotel, located right on the beach. It was barricaded with chairs. Strand dings the bell for service.

 Lady Gang Leader recruits Nick for a special job. It involves smearing himself with zombie guts and keeping his mouth shut; one out of these two things he can do very well.

In the hotel, Ofelia, Strand, and MM find a grody uneaten wedding cake. Alycia wants to check the minibars for canned nuts. Strand and MM hit the bar.

How does she do it? The perfect coif without water, conditioner, or keratin.

Nick and his new lady boss chat. The pharmacist, she reveals, was bitten, but he has not turned. Sounds like voodoo to me. Drug dealers have taken over, and you know what? It’s not so bad. Lady Boss exchanges medicine for water, but the deal has changed. The old bait and switch! She grabs a shopping cart, and they enter one of the ugliest Costcos ever. At the Mexican Costco, armed clerks patrol the aisles to make sure you aren’t stealing anything. With a full cart, the duo try to leave, but turns out Nick was smuggling snacks. Oh, no, Nick. As they prepare to chop off Nick’s hand, Nick notes that the chopper’s sister needs Oxy or else she’ll die from withdrawal. Somehow, he gets the guy to stop and listen. They have drugs for her, if they get to take more water. Nick’s insatiable craving for Mexican Cheetos has proved to be his potential undoing!

While Strand and MM get wasted on tequila, Ofelia and Alycia go room to room to get stuff. Do Not Disturb sign means “pissed off zombie inside. Please replace towels later.” They do find peanuts, though. A zombie who tried to hang himself from the showerhead is still there, and is waving his arms desperately. They leave and flip the sign on the knob to DND. Later, Alycia finds some booze. She ponders why the dude in the shower gave up so quickly. Ofelia is less sanguine about their future. What’s the point of hope? Alycia tries some gurl bonding with her to make it better. Strand and MM meanwhile, continue to drink. He assures her that Nick is fine. MM reveals that Nick is just like his dad; a drug addict with a death wish. He died in a car crash, when he was probably high. Travis can only fix so much. MM regrets having kids. Strand tickles the ivories a little, but the piano is horribly out of tune and cacophonous. Guess what zombies like to listen to?

Alycia takes a shower and offers Ofelia to do the same, but the older woman is nowhere to be seen. Alycia ventures out on the balcony, where she can see all the other balconies, from which suicidal zombies are throwing themselves. But they get up afterwards! Ofelia has ventured too far in the hotel and has gotten herself into a pickle of a jam.

Back in town, Nick and the pharmacist discuss fate and faith in the context of a diminishing water supply and no medicines. As the man leans over, Nick sees his shoulder bite.

A lot of zombies want a drink, too, so Strand plays sober guy and tries to herd Mad Mom out of there in a hurry. Images of a religious service for the dead and the zombie bar room brawl duke it out. Nick gets into the chanting too. Strand and MM are the world’s most inept bartenders, and they are surrounded by really angry alcohol-dependent patrons who aren’t leaving until they get their speecy Bloody Marys.