Pharmaceutica: HEROES GIVE HAPPY ENDINGS

OLDER MAN AT PHARMACY COUNTER: $1,286?!! For Viagra?

TECH AT CASHIER: [shrugging] I’m sorry, sir, but your insurance just won’t cover it. 


OLDER MAN: What does a guy have to do around here to get a boner? 


[scene freezes and pharmacy goes dark except for a spotlight on SPOKESMAN]


SPOKESMAN [wearing a dark suit, white button down shirt, and tie, steps out of darkness] Has this ever happened to you? [points to camera, breaking the fourth wall]


TECH: Step right down here, sir! [TECH sprints breathlessly from the front register to consult window]


OLDER MAN: [desperately but hopefully following TECH] Isn’t there anything you can do?


SPOKESMAN [standing behind TECH]: There sure is. A couple strokes on the keyboard [winks at camera with a half smile] is all it takes.


OLDER MAN: Sounds good to me. What’s not to like?


SPOKESMAN: Edit, scan, apply coupon–


TECH: [tapping furiously away at keyboard]


SPOKESMAN: Now enter enter enter, and voila!


TECH: That’ll be $23.47.


OLDER MAN: [astonished] You’re an angel!


SPOKESMAN: Correction: She’s a hero. 


TECH #2: I wanna be a hero!


TECH #3: Me too! [overlapping voices of other TECHS echoing same sentiment]


SPOKESMAN: [opening his arms expansively and embracing a TECH with each one, proclaiming loudly] You can all be heroes!


[all male customers in pharmacy clap enthusiastically and high-five each other]


SPOKESMAN: We lower the price…to help you get it up.

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