Being Nice Doesn't Pay and Other Life Lessons Learned

Episode 6: “The Good Man”

We finally reach the season finale of our fave spinoff, Fear the Walking Dead. Last we saw, Ruben the placid barber who knows just what to do with a straight razor, was standing outside a stadium chock full of SoCal zombies. Remember the tied-up soldier from whom he extracted vital info? Yes, while Ruben was getting the job done Travis was traipsing around with soldiers and not killing zombies. Because guns are bad, mmkay? True, but not in a zombie apocalypse, Travis! Ugh.

Travis and family are packing up camping supplies for their desert trip. Ruben is finishing up with the soldier, who has outlived his usefulness. Soldier points out that if they want to find foot-free Griselda and Nick, they’ll need a map. Ruben, it turns out, was not the victim in his home country but probably the oppressor. However, as we have seen, honorable men are a dying breed in this new, cold world. Clinging to idealistic beliefs will get you killed.

“What is family now?” the doctor retorts when Liza inquires about her loved ones. Travis, in the meantime, is about to make yet another bad decision: he opts to let the soldier go, defying Ruben’s advice.

Ruben is letting the rest of the gang into the military compound. He strolls in like a boss, and the soldiers do take notice. They then see that Rubes is being followed by zombie hordes. I heart Ruben! What a cool customer. He returns to Travis and co. in an underground garage. Travis’ idiocy is uncovered. Alicia and Chris are left behind with one of the cars to wait while Mad Mom, Ruben, and Travis go to retrieve Nick, Griselda, and Liza.

Mellifluous black man is still wearing a nice suit whilst locked up with Nick, who by now probably smells terrible. Alarms sound as distant gunfire erupts. Mellifluous has a key! Escape time.

Liza and the doctor are stuck with the patients. The rescue helicopter refuses to land because the compound has gone to shit. Doctor sends her staff away, asserting that she will “take care” of the patients. Liza is in shock, but the doctor is firmly resigned.

Chris and Alicia are hanging out in the SUV, just waiting around in the empty garage. As they chat, a few soldiers come by. Upstairs, mellifluous is saving Nick and no one else.

Alicia and Chris are trying to make themselves invisible by crouching down in the truck, which amazingly fails to work. The soldiers want to escape too, and Alicia will make a comely traveling companion. Chris intervenes on her behalf. After he is punched out, the soldiers take off.

A stunned Liza slowly walks through the chaos of automatic gunfire, growling walkers, and random fires. The fences are giving way, and soldiers are being eaten. Nick and mellifluous, who is highly resourceful, are making their way through the maze of hallways and doors in the abandoned compound. Mellifluous stumbles upon a soldier who previously confiscated his cufflinks; he takes his gun and whispers something in the man’s ear as he is being munched upon.

Ruben is yelling for his wife, and Travis and Mad Mom are looking for Nick, who is unfortunately stuck behind a locked set of doors with mellifluous. Naturally, countless walkers are descending upon them. After several tension-filled moments, Travis and co. manage to bust Nick and his buddy out.

An industrial kitchen. Liza is surprised by a walker. The undead can be very quiet when they want to. Everyone rises to the occasion by grabbing heavy, sharp objects and clubbing various zombies. Teamwork! Liza breaks the bad news to Daniel (er, Ruben) and Ophelia about Griselda, who by now has been haphazardly cremated.

The doctor is still alive. Travis invites her to come along. Mad Mom grabs some meds, which should not go to waste after all. The doctor is going to kill herself to join the rest of the patients.

Mellifluous man (Strand) is headed west, not east, to his home on the coast. Mad Mom takes note. Will their plan to travel to the desert be averted?

The gang is reunited with Chris and Alicia in the parking lot. As they hug and chatter, cut-up soldier returns, armed. Andy is out for revenge against Rubes. He points his gun at Ruben, but then shoots his girlfriend Ophelia. Travis pounces and proceeds to beat the living daylights out of Andy. Too little too late, Travis! Once again, Travis’ lack of balls (or at least his misplacement of said cojones) has wrought personal heartbreak.

For once in LA, there is no traffic! The gang head to mellifluous man’s house. Ophelia is nursing a wounded arm. His house is modern and sleek. One feels that all is back to the way it should be upon entering his beautiful, quiet home. The sound of the pacific is just outside. A cooling ocean breeze ruffles everyone’s dirty hair. Even Nick feels good! Nick reflects that his life as an addict felt like the end of the world all the time. Now it really IS the end of the world, and he feels like an old hand.

Mellifluous man is packing his clothes. His incredibly expensive, well-tailored clothes. He’s leaving. He encourages Nick to “embrace the madness.” MM trains his high-powered binoculars on his yacht, “Abigail.” So, MM plans to wait out the apocalypse…on the Love Boat?? Hey, it beats the desert. Also, zombies can’t row a boat or swim for shit. Smart.

Liza, Mad Mom, and Travis all scuttle down to the beach in rapid succession. Uh oh! Liza was bitten back at the compound. She asks Mad Mom to shoot her. Travis turns up, blabbing about antibiotics, but Liza quickly disabuses him of this notion. Tears. I don’t think it will be too much of a stretch for Mad Mom to shoot her husband’s ex-wife. I’m sorry, but I don’t. The crack of a gunshot pierces the tranquility.

Travis wallows in a musical montage just for him as he pounds his fists into the scratchy sand: Nooooooo! Chris finds his mom with a gunshot wound to the head and is understandably distraught.

The sea remains the same. There is no such thing as a zombie fish. Time to get on that boat! It’s a crying shame that such prime, coastal real estate is now worth absolutely nothing. We shall have to wait a while to find out the fate of Travis and company. Will the yacht offer shuffleboard? Are drinks included, or will mellifluous man charge them extra? Will Travis and his balls ever be reunited? Season two debuts in 2016.